What Am I Not Seeing?
- 6 hours ago
- 2 min read
Understanding the Invitation of Discomfort
The majority of my work centres around understanding why people do what they do. I like it, I'm good at it and it has always come naturally to me. I've always known that behaviour is only a flag pointing to something going on under the surface.
But now, a few years into my business, I'm realizing how often I have used my ability to see and understand others as a way of avoiding seeing and understanding things in myself.
My TedX talk is about sitting with discomfort, learning to use moments that make us uncomfortable to point us to something below the surface and asking the question, "What am I not seeing?"
It didn't happen overnight, but little by little I started to notice my discomfort and what was really living under the surface. It wasn't that I shouldn't be working to see and understand others, but I was using those moments to avoid seeing the parts of me that struggled to feel good enough to be seen and heard.
The self-awareness journey is often called "the work." Because it's work. It isn't just looking at your strengths, it's also looking at anything lurking in the shadow of our strengths. Our self-awareness will always be incomplete when we avoid moments of discomfort. It is the uncomfortable journey of seeing all the parts of us that truly brings us into greater self-awareness. It is impossible to be self-aware without all the pieces.
So the next time you're uncomfortable, instead of pushing through or avoiding it, try three things:
1. Notice that you're uncomfortable.
2. Stay a bit longer.
3. Ask yourself, "what am I not seeing?"
Discomfort is an invitation and it's time to wake up.
Comments