We're Number One!

The Truth about the Search for Perfection

I think we make a lot of assumptions about each Enneagram number. Part of that can be attributed to the idea that we are a little bit of every number, part of that will be because we have likely interacted with personalities of each number at some point in our lives and have noticed, adapted to or taken on certain characteristics, and part of that is simply being human. The Enneagram was created to capture the natural patterns of humans so when we learn the Enneagram something in us acknowledges the patterns we have already witnessed and participated in - leaving patterns unspoken and assumed is where, I believe, the assumptions do the most damage.

As we look at the characteristics of the Enneagram One, I think we are prone to do a lot of assuming. We have labeled this personality type as "Type A" or joked about "you're such a perfectionist" when someone continues to work past our own perception of "done." As with every number, the oversimplification of a personality can do more damage than good. The truth is, we all have different levels of what we commonly call "perfectionism" in us, so what is it about Enneagram One's that have people using that label?

The Perfectionist

Enneagram One - Perfection

If you know a One, you likely know someone that does what they say they are going to do. If you're a One, you may or may not think that's true about yourself because you're currently remembering the few times you didn't do what you said and any of the times you know you put off tasks you didn't want to do. One's are so highly tuned to the best way to do things that even on their best days, there is a list of moments running through their head that could have gone better. It doesn't really matter how many times they DID do what they said, their attention sees the times they fell short.

If I examine my own inner world, I will get stuck on a few moments in my day that didn't go the way I'd hoped and I will have varying degrees of inner dialogue examining, criticizing and problem solving those moments away. The inner world of the Enneagram One operates from the viewpoint that most things have missed the mark and the inner dialogue to solve that problem, the problem of lack of perfection, will never end.

Inner worlds are so interesting to me. They hold both the brightest and darkest parts of us and also the important pieces needed for connection. What seems to get in the way is what we internally label as bright and dark.

I think we believe we have been labelled in many ways from the outside. But I think the mystery of every human that we may never solve is which labels came first, the ones we gave ourselves and now see everywhere we go, or the ones we were given by the world.

More than a Label

As I read through the words associated with Enneagram One, and maybe with many numbers, I can't help but notice how our assessment of people can become so one-dimensional. Is an Enneagram One a perfectionist and no more? We characterize them as having an inner critic and frustration at the state of an imperfect world. This feels like such a narrow assessment of a person.

Enneagram Symbol

What I know about One's is their incredible access of empathy and emotion. If you know the Enneagram well, you know that each number is connected inside the circle to two other numbers. The Enneagram One is connected by an arrow to Four. Four is a space of depth and deep understanding. Paired with an Enneagram One's desire for fairness, justice and goodness for all, the empathy they can access for themselves and others is overwhelming. When One's access this space, their focus shifts and they see the depth of the human experience beyond the right and wrong of the tasks at hand.

On the other side of the Enneagram circle, Ones are connected to Seven. If you've ever seen the explosion of a "Fun One" you have seen life, joy and creativity at its best. A One, direct, action-oriented and intentional, letting lose with adventure and excitement is a beautiful thing. It's so much more than just being silly, it feels like an invitation into the very essence of life and living. A true expression of what it means to feel alive and take in the present moment.

Letting go

Inside every number is an explosion of true life waiting to be released. Inside a principled, rational, conscientious One is a fun-loving and care-free human dying to give themselves permission to let go. So here's your permission, let go! I would love to give you ideas but, let's face it, deep inside you are actually the fun master so instead, send me your ideas because no one knows fun like an Enneagram One let loose!

For all of us:

In this moment, I choose joy over perfectionism. I am free to enjoy life without the burden of constant improvement. Today, I let go of rigidity and welcome spontaneity. I trust in the process of life, knowing that I am enough just as I am.