To Be or Not To Be: Self-Aware

I have always thought of myself as pretty self-aware. But the more time I spend actively pursuing it, the more I realize I may not have had much self-awareness until very recently.

There have been many studies done lately on the subject of self-awareness. It turns out, I'm not alone. Most studies quote anywhere from 80-95% of people say they are "self-aware." However, in actuality, the number of people that fit the study's criteria for self-awareness is only between 10-15%.

How is that possible? How can the numbers be so extreme? And is it really that difficult to be "aware of yourself?"

What is Self-Awareness?

I don't think the definition is the problem - "being aware of yourself." I think it is the nuance of being a complicated and ever-changing human being interacting with complicated and ever-changing human beings.

Let's do a quick awareness checklist using the Enneagram's concept of Three Centres of Intelligence: Body, Heart and Mind.

Body, Heart, Mind Intelligence Centres

Body Intelligence is connected to your gut instinct and your five senses. What percentage of the time would you say you are aware of all five of your senses? How often do you have a gut reaction to something and choose to do something else? Don't lose hope, we still have two more centres to examine ...

Heart Intelligence is connected to your feelings and emotions. Emotional intelligence is a hot topic these days for a reason. Our feelings and emotions come at us fast and furious. For most of us, we likely only tune into a small fraction of our emotions and of those, have limited vocabulary to label them a

nd even more restrictive ways we feel we can express them. Have you figured out a percentage yet?

Mind Intelligence is connected to your thinking, problem-solving and strategizing brain. This feels like an obvious one to me ... ever lose your train of thought?

I don't know if you're doing the math, but if you add up the amount of information running through each centre of intelligence, the shear volume of things/moments/feelings/thoughts to pay attention to is overwhelming!!

So let's cut ourselves some slack and rather than look at self-awareness as some giant mountain to climb, realize our complicated nature is what keeps life interesting and that self-awareness will always be a curious journey of finding out more of the information running through our intricate beings.

Seeing and Learning

Growing in self-awareness is incredibly simple ... and deeply confusing. Growing in self-awareness is like telling a fish about water, a human how to breathe, or waking up at the end of your highway hypnosis.

Self-awareness is seeing what has previously felt normal around you and waking up to realize, things are a bit different than you assumed.

So how do you begin to see the air we breathe?

In general, self-awareness is all about presence. Being in the present rather than observing the past or analyzing the future. You can journal, you can meditate, you can be in nature, you can do any of the beautiful practices we know about to embrace the present moment.

Let's look at the Centres of Intelligence again:

Body Intelligence - Did you know that when you engage with any of your five senses you are present? Spend a week noticing what you hear. No judgement, no right/wrong, no documentation, just listen.

Heart Intelligence - Be an investigator. Pick an emotion and look for it this week. Where does it seem strongest? Do you notice yourself holding it close or pushing it away? Do you see it on other people?

Mind Intelligence - Brainstorm time. Notice moments when you get stuck between two options: we go out to eat, we stay home to eat, we go out to eat, we stay home to eat ... that loop can be endless. Try coming up with a third option. Break the loop and get creative.

What have you tried?

From what I've learned and experienced, the journey of self-awareness is as varied as the awareness we are trying to find!

I would love to hear your experiences: add them in the comments, find me on instagram (enneagram_aware) or send me an email (info@enneagramaware.ca).

The beautiful part about self-awareness is the journey is ours to take but we never take it alone.