Flying the Coop: Noticing the Wings in Stress and Health

When I first learned about the Enneagram, I understood the wing theory to be two separate types that branched off of the main type. In other words, I understood the wings to represent a version of subtypes for each number, 9w8 was different than 9w1. I debated for ages between the two "versions of 9" but could never land confidently in one or the other.

I’ve come to realize that the reason I struggled to land on a particular wing was because I have both!! We all do!! And not only do we have both but I now see ways that I incorporate traits from both of my wing numbers in health AND stress.

Wings in Stress

In stress, our personalities have a way of "leaking" to our wings. Picture a glass of water that has more and more liquid poured in until it spills over the top. When we have more than we can handle inside of us, we begin to adapt in ways outside of our typical personality patterns.

The key word here is adapt. Our wing numbers are not our Enneagram type. We may express certain characteristics of that type but our core number will still be the same. This is part of why it is difficult to label our wing numbers as subtypes - the numbers on either side of us have all kinds of interesting characteristics, we'll never embody them all. What we might do is grasp at a few of these characteristics that seem to work for us when we are struggling to stay grounded in our own type.

The best way to notice and start shifting your patterns is to simply observe.

Self-observation is the key to all significant personal development. The ability to observe your patterns in real-time is what it's all about. And, I will add, the ability to observe your patterns from a place of curiosity, gathering information on your responses and actions like your own little research project, and avoiding judgement or self-criticism.

Start by studying the numbers on either side of you. What about that number makes you cringe? What makes you uncomfortable? Without sounding too depressing, moments of uncomfortablity are the perfect places to start. When we're uncomfortable, there is something in us trying to be heard and understood. Take a moment to notice what else is going on in your body, heart and mind.

Wings in Health

This is the part of the post where I give you hope.

Yes, we can see our unhealthy patterns in our neighbouring numbers but we can also incorporate the best of both numbers to grow in balance and depth.

The numbers on either side of us are often the exact numbers we need to resolve the tension we feel within ourselves:

Enneagram 1's can incorporate the calmness of 9's, believing the right things will happen as life moves forward in order to develop the connection and empathy available at point 2.

Enneagram 2's become more grounded and purposeful at point 1 in order to incorporate a healthy recognition of their own strengths at 3 outside of what they can do for others.

Enneagram 3's are found between the two feeling types and find balance acknowledging the emotions of others at 2 and their own emotions at point 4.

Enneagram 4's begin at point 3 where they show their strengths to the world while developing a level of healthy unattachment to these expressions and emotions at 5.

Enneagram 5's explore their emotional inner world at 4 before moving to 6 and realizing they can trust what they feel and that it leads to more long-term connections.

Enneagram 6's become more grounded in their own knowledge and ability at 5 before turning themselves loose to explore at point 7.

Enneagram 7's slow down and become more thoughtful in decision-making at 6, going even deeper and more grounded in their interests by moving then to point 8.

Enneagram 8's lighten up at point 7 and realize it doesn't always have to be them that responds to an issue before relaxing into the flow of life at point 9.

Enneagram 9's hold tight to their perspective at point 8 before moving to point 1 and following through on what they know to be their true wants and needs.

A Symbol of Constant Motion

The Enneagram isn't static. It represents the human experience - a life in constant motion: every moment of the human experience is different than the last. When we are able to embrace both of our wing numbers intentionally, we grow beyond our instinctive reactions and develop a fuller, more resilient identity—one that honours the complexity of who we are.