Pleasing People: Understanding Enneagram 2's at Work

We've made it to the Enneagram 2's, the helpers, the people-pleasers, the empathetic friends and the givers of time and care.

This number has always made me curious. It seems to be the number that many of us have been socialized to become ... however many of us have adapted to some of these traits rather than coming to them naturally.

The Helper

What does it mean to be a "helper" or "people pleaser?"

When we look at the motivations of an Enneagram 2, we see someone who is wired for connection. Being connected and in relationship with the people around them is their central focus. Out of this focus come all kinds of expressions of helping and furthering relationships. In a workplace this might look like a gift on the desk of a colleague after a particularly rough week, a kind email congratulating someone on a job well done or a long coffee break with a teammate that is going through something difficult outside of work.

Many of us are compassionate and empathetic people who may do exactly those things for someone we care about, but for Enneagram 2's it feels central. Enneagram 2's can sometimes get caught up in guaranteeing or "fixing" the work connections they desire and in the process find themselves getting more and more burnt out and frustrated by giving in spaces that aren't acknowledging their efforts.

Opportunity

Examining the Enneagram 2 patterns gives us the opportunity to examine the nature of interpersonal relationships in the workplace.

Let's face it, we all do things outside of our job description. The workplace is a delicate balance of knowing what is your job, my job, extra-curricular, voluntary, relationship building, kindness, and so much more. There will always be things that we do that extend beyond our practical, day-to-day tasks. That's what makes a healthy and positive workplace culture.

So here is our opportunity: connection at work.

Enneagram 2's are constantly seeking connection with others. But they are doing it in their unique way. Every workplace needs a balance of the way Enneagram 2's seek connection mixed with the way every other enneagram number seeks connection. One way is not better than another.

Yes, notice that the Enneagram 2's at your workplace want to have good relationships, learn how they do it, but, Enneagram 2's, notice how others build connection and let them support you in return. It may not look the way you thought or hoped but there might be a deeper intention you missed at first glance.

As many people have discovered, we are wired for connection, but we are not all wired to find it or offer it the same way. When we open our eyes to see the different ways people are developing their relationships, we actually see deeper and more meaningful connections form in all areas of our lives.

Let's Work Together

There is no perfect solution to putting nine different personalities in a room and telling them to work together. The ONLY way to get a bit better at it is to start to understand what is behind different behaviours and actions.

Enneagram 2's teach us the value of interpersonal relationships at work. We need them. But they also don't want to do that work alone. Get to know the 2's in your life. There is no quick list of tips that can be offered to get around the fact that each person needs to be heard and understood just as they are.