Let's Talk About Emotions!

I had the hardest time labeling my emotions - even the vocabulary often escaped me. I couldn’t figure out “where” they were. It all felt like a mystery … that I was trying to solve using my logical mind!!

Along with the help of my wonderful therapist, the Enneagram has really helped demystify the concept of feeling and emotion.

The Enneagram outlines three dominant emotions associated with the three centres of intelligence and encompassing three types in each.

Types 8, 9 and 1 - Body Centre - ANGER

Types 2, 3, and 4 - Emotion Centre - SADNESS

Types 5, 6 and 7 - Mind Centre - FEAR

Within each of those three types, one of the types tends to over-do the dominant emotion, one is said to “under-do” it and the third one flip-flops depending on the circumstance.

Body Centre - ANGER

Type 8’s are often comfortable displaying anger.

Type 9’s are often asleep to their anger.

Type 1’s often control their anger.

Emotion Centre - SADNESS

Type 2’s often repress sadness.

Type 3’s often deny sadness.

Type 4’s often embody sadness.

Mind Centre - FEAR

Type 5’s often isolate from fear.

Type 6’s often internalize fear.

Type 7’s often deny fear.

But where are the happy ones?

These three emotions, anger, sadness and fear, are known as our survival emotions. We need these three emotions to motivate us to action and change when necessary. Happiness often comes as a response to this action and change, a reflection of the movement towards balance and calm.

We need anger to point out moments of threat and engage our defences. We need anger to help us protect people, places and things. We need anger to show us when a boundary has been crossed. We need anger to motivate change in moments of injustice. We need anger.

We need sadness to acknowledge moments of disappointment. We need sadness to reevaluate our goals and problem solve. We need sadness to address important loss and prepare for change. We need sadness to communicate our needs and ask for support. We need sadness.

We need fear to detect and respond to potential threats. We need fear to assess risk and make decisions to minimize harm. We need fear to learn and grow as a human navigating uncertainty. We need fear to protect those within our social group. We need fear.

So what ... ?

The beauty of the Enneagram is it simply points out patterns. You are never locked in one centre, one emotion or one way of thinking, feeling or being. The Enneagram is simply pointing out the areas we are out of balance and creates an opportunity for us to better understand ourselves as we learn.

We have all three emotions. We need all three emotions. We often experience one emotion more often than the other two when we are navigating life circumstances and decision-making.

Yes, we can overdo emotions and yes, we can get stuck in them. The goal is to create balance and to grow in our awareness of how our emotions are showing up in our lives. Pay attention to which of the three dominant emotions you notice most this week in yourself or in your interactions with others.

Does one show up more than others?

Does one show up in the people around you more than others?

Does one feel more “wrong” or “right?”

Get curious and add your experiences in the comments!