Enneagram Super Power

Enneagram Eight time!!

Where's an eight? There's an eight! Over the last several years I have collected more than a dozen enneagram eight personalities in various capacities and from many different spheres of my life. I have always heard that there are patterns in our relationships ... and it seems I have stumbled onto one of mine.

Everyone will experience people differently - "Everyone has two eyes but no one has the same view." When I think through the long list of Enneagram Eights I have encountered, loved, fought with and learned from, I can think of many reasons why I needed Eight energy in my life:

I grew strong.

Enneagram Eight - Power

I think for a long time I attracted Eights because I needed someone strong in my life. I was terrible at making decisions and with an active decision maker beside you, you can just go-with-the-flow.

One time I saw a home video of myself as a kid and in the video I was standing beside my cousin while she made a silly face at the camera. I watched myself look at her silly face and then copy it. It felt like such a clear picture of how much I tried to be what people needed me to be by applying what I noticed about others.

I needed the strength of people around me while I figured out who I was. It turns out, I had my own version of strength but I was afraid to look at it.

I learned honesty.

In my family, we struggle with saying what we really think. We subscribe to the concept of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Sure, there is some truth to that statement. Maybe it could be better said, "if you knew what they were trying to say, don't bother pointing out their mistakes."

Both my natural personality and my family socialization led me to fear my first honest thought. I often have a first thought that I would call "what I really think" about something but almost as soon as that thought is conscious, it is covered over by a number of different options that both sound nicer and feel nicer to me. This is NOT very Eight.

I think we have probably over-attributed the trait of "bluntness" to eights. I think they can be blunt sometimes but I think more than anything they seem to be able to sense honesty in people. They have a spidy-sense for when people are keeping something to themselves. With this in mind, there is a kind of permission they give to themselves and others to say, sometimes quite directly and with intense honesty, what is on their mind.

I would like to suggest an alliance between the Nine avoidance and the Eight directness. I have come to realize the beautiful connection that can be found between speaking directly into a situation that calls for it and being so incredibly present that you can feel who is ready to hear it and who will struggle with how blunt it will feel.

I saw more.

Enneagram Eight - Connection

One of the major blocks to growth for an Enneagram Eight is their desire to be in control. Underneath this desire is a deep longing to trust, a trust that has been broken too many times.

There are always two sides to the Enneagram. Control and over-responsibility has often come as a response to a lack of control and fear of chaos.

I think there's a piece of that in all of us. We are all struggling to hold onto the pieces we can control and feel we need to create safety.

Seeing the depth of trust and loyalty within an Enneagram Eight is inspiring. When they feel heard and understood by you, they hold on tight. That big energy runs deep inside them, seeking a safe space to let down their walls and embrace connection.

I felt loved.

No one is in your corner like an Enneagram Eight. When their intensity is channeled in your direction, you feel invincible; you feel safe to be yourself.

Maybe you know an Eight, maybe you are an Eight. We need you, we love you and in so many ways, we are like you as we all struggle to find a balance between control and trust.

So, for all of us:

I acknowledge the humanity in myself and others and trust in the natural flow of life. By allowing things to unfold, I open myself up to unexpected joys and possibilities.